A safe place

A Strong Woman:

• Is willing to make decisions about her activities, her future and her family.
• Speaks her mind in a relationship.
• Refuses to do things that make her uncomfortable.
• Expects people to treat her with respect even when they are angry or disappointed.
• Expects equal relationshipswhere partners take turns giving and getting from each other.
• Knows that destructive relatonships hurt her self-esteem and her mental and physical well-being.
• Knows that any violence/abuse is unacceptable.

A Strong Man:

• Respects others and doesn't try to control them.
• Participates in discussions and negotiations and does not feel threatened when his partner voices her opinions that are different from his own.
• Realizes that he doesn't lose power or status if his way isn't followed.
• Doesn't resort to threats, insults, or violence to get his way.
• Knows that "no" means no and doesn't force sexual contact.
• Can confront feelings of anger and frustrations without taking them out on somebody else.
• Recognizes that he may be physically stronger than others, but doesn't use that strength to hurt.
• Accepts an equal share of the responsibility for the work needed to keep a relationship healthy.

Characteristics of a Healthy Partner:

• Shares the decision making with you.
• Knows oneself and is comfortable being alone.
• Accepts you for who you are,not for how you look.
• Has many of the same values as you do.
• Is able to express anger without being violent or abusive.
• Is able to work through conflict by talking.
• Doesn't expect perfection from you.
• Is a good listener and communicates well.
• Takes responsibility for what he/she says and does.
• Doesn't rush in to the relationship,but moves step by step into being more intimate.
• Accepts when you spend time away with your friends.
• Asks permission before touching you or being sexual.
• Has supportive friends other than you.
• Makes and keeps commitments.

Danger Ahead- Are you with someone who:

• Is jealous and possessive toward you,won't let you have friends,checks up on you, and won't accept breaking up.
• You worry about how they will react to things you say or do.
• Threatens you, uses or owns weapons.
• Is violent toward you or others.
• Has a history of fighting.
• Loses temper quickly; brags about mistreating others.
• Pressures you for sex.
• Thinks women or girls are sex objects.
• Is forceful or scary around sex.
• Attempts to manipulate or guilt trip you by saying, "If you really loved me you would...
• Gets too serious about the relationship too fast.
• Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them.
• Blames you when they mistreat you by saying that you: provoked them; pressed their buttons; made them do it; or led them on.
• Has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person for all the problems.
• Believes that men should be in control and powerful.
• Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are worried about you.